"Zonian" Laughter

The Canal Zone was a very special place in the world, and I would like to preserve some humor regarding the "Zonian" life. So, grab a Balboa Beer, and have a laugh.....

Jim E. Phelan

When they were building the "new" Gorgas Hospital.....

When some doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at Gorgas Hospital, the allergists voted to scratch it; the dermatologists preferred no rash moves; the gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it; the microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein; the neurologists thought the administration "had a lot of nerve"; the obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception; the ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the orthopedists issued a joint resolution; the parasitologists said, "Well, if you encyst"; the pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"; the pediatricians said, "Grow up!"; the proctologists said, "We are in arrears"; the psychiatrists thought it was madness; and finally, the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The radiologists could see right through it; the internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow; the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter"; the podiatrists thought it was a big step forward; the physiotherapists thought they were being manipulated; the urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water; the anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas; the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no; and the otologists were deaf to the idea.

Needless to say, the idea of contributing to a new wing didn't fly!

Jim E. Phelan

A man was filling his gas tank at La Boca self serve gas station. As he removes the nozzle he splashes some gas on his left sleeve. Ignoring it he runs in to pay for the gas and pick up a pack of cigarettes. As he heads out on La Boca Road with his window rolled down, he tries to light a cigarette while shielding the lighter with his left hand when, Yup, his gas soaked sleeve bursts into flames!

Thinking quickly, he sticks his arm out the window to blow out the flames. But alas, it just feeds air to the fire.

As luck would have it, one of CZPD's finest was just approaching him from the other direction. The officer turned around, pulled over our Gandolf-wanna-be and extinguishes the flames for him, then rushes him to Gorgas Hospital where he is treated for his burns and released. The man is now facing a 6-8 month jail term.

What for, you ask? Why, illegal use of a fire arm, of course!

***Do you have a Canal Zone or Panama joke that you'd like to donate to this page? If so, please email me.

CZ Memories


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